whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
