Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
