we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
