Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
