even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
