Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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