Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
