and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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