But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
