This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
