Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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