I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
