Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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