Porn is love you can see.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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