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It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
