you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
