now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
