I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
