you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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