Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
