i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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