4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
