ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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