I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
