My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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