He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
