____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
