Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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