I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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