I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize