but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
