Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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