Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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