Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
