We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it wasn't lemon gatorade
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
