$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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