my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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