I didn't shave. On purpose
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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