I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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