I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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