His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
