Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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