Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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