separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
