somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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