I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
