i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
