Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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