she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
