we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
