My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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