Im at strip club and am horny
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize