I have demons in me.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
