Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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