I'm jealous of your bromance
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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