What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
