Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
