my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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