omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
