I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Even my vagina gasped.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
