apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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