She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
