In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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