it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
