Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(737): View more from Texas

at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?

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(614): View more from Ohio

We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.

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(415): View more from California

There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.

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(+45): View more from Denmark

Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

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(512): View more from Texas

Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on

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(847): View more from Illinois

Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick

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(+61): View more from Australia

Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.

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