You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
