i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
