So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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