Whats the glycemic index on semen?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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