I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
