Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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