Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize